Wednesday, October 2, 2013


When you have been rejected time and time again there is a fear so great. It is easy to believe the lie no one could truly love me, I must be unlovable. But then He steps in. He will never leave you nor forsake you, but loved you even when you refused to believe He existed. Utter rejection He received yet, He relentlessly pursued. But how could He who loves you allow others to cause so much pain? Without the pain would you truly understand how precious and rare the gift of unfailing love. The rejection reveals as no plenty could ever supply how Great His love is that never dies.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Upward Flag Football

Caleb loved flag football. It was chaos, but lots of fun to watch. He now plays pretend games everywhere he goes. And in these games he's the coach, announcer and all the players. Dialogue goes something like this, "He's a new comer! Down, Set, Hut! Stay with me. Great job, you did good. Are you ready. Know where the ball is Caleb! His running and got him down. Tackle me, tackle me!"
I would say he doesn't excel in football like baseball, but he loved it and learned a lot from his great coaching. He went from running for a loss most of the time to ending the season finding the holes. He became a decent little receiver. Now if we could just get him to pick up his feet, so he could move up the field faster than a snail's pace. He got his Momma's running ability, at least right now. Hopefully the superior athletic genes of Daddy will kick in as he matures. He was one of the youngest on the team with ages ranging from 5-7.
(top left/right) Coach Terry, Coach Paul, Daddy
(Middle L/R) Aiden, Jack D, Ryan, Caleb, Jackson M.
(Bottom L/R) Brayden, Michael, Matt, Jackson S. 

Sunday, March 27, 2011


We just had or parent teachers conference at Caleb's school. We love his teachers and are very thankful that God knew exactly which class would allow Caleb to flourish. There were seven categories they look at and overall Caleb did great.
Math Readiness- He does great, but still skips the numbers 14 and 17 when counting no matter how high he goes. I think he can count to 50 if he can stay focused. He has known all his shapes since 2, so when he didn't get all of these correct I am sure he just lost interest in the activity.
Reading Readiness-I learned rhyming is an important activity to prepare for reading. He loves nursery rhymes, so we have been reading these lately and he especially loves Goosey Goosey Gander.  Probably because the goose throws the guy down the stairs for not praying. 
Practical Skills-such as his name and phone number. I need to be more intentional with teaching him how to call Mommy.
Social/Emotional Skills-he did great in this area and I was extremely happy to hear he has never melted down at school.
Fine Motor Skills- This is by far his weakest area. He doesn't like to write and is adamant that getting it done fast is far superior to quality. Both the kids love Play Doh, so I will try to incorporate this into our activities more often.
Self-Help Skills-He was on target in this area. One benefit of a mommy that always tries to squeeze in too much is self sufficient little ones. He picks out his outfit and dresses himself almost everyday. Sometimes his coordination is a little questionable, but I love that I am seeing his personality though what he likes to wear.
Gross Motor Skills-this area is his strength. He is so athletic and enjoys competition. He is wired to a be a brave warrior. As his Mommy I am not sure if I like the thought of him going off to war, but I am sure he will be a leader on the ball field someday. He is already coordinating games and activities with his classmates during gym time.
Speaking and Listening Skills- He is strong in verbal communication; however, he struggles with attention span. I finally understand the true problem with TV. It is extremely stimulating and I am pretty convinced in Caleb's case TV is the main contributing factor to his short attention span. It is my fault. He doesn't watch a ton of TV, but if he ever seems bored and thus restless resulting in trouble I use the TV to stimulate him. We do so much that is fun together and rarely slow down. Pretty much our only quiet time is before bed or watching TV. I am going to try to do extremely limited screen time and not use the TV as a crutch to get stuff done. I am hoping this helps. Mrs. Trax recommended we wait on Kindergarden for this reason alone. We were planning on waiting another year, and any doubt on whether or not this was a good decision was a eliminated.

Makaylee is still her sweet self. 

She has been asserting her independence, which I appreciate until we are in a hurry. Sadly, because time management is not a quality I posses we are always running late. "I do it myself" creates a major obstacle to every outing. I need to add an extra five to allow for synergy in our lives. I know this, yet I still haven't  adjusted. 
Her communication is drastically improving. I can tell she is going to have the gift of gab. I love this!! She enjoys a good salad and as we share spinach bits I flash forward to the times we are sharing lunch and life stories. 
We are struggling with bedtime. She is having a hard time falling asleep and thus decides to wonder into the hallway. Often, I find her lying on the floor outside her room with her little pillow, blankey and a book. It might be time to cut the afternoon nap to an hour tops. 
We have been trying to get her to potty train, but it seems intimidating to her. I don't want to push it, so I just mention it to her multiple times a day. I got her big girl room all ready and told her when she is ready to potty she gets to move into her big girl room. She likes the idea of being a big girl, but doesn't like the changes that accompany this label. A put up a shelf in the new room and didn't have anything she wouldn't break to go on it, so I decided to steal a great idea form my friend at Funmoms and make custom blocks to decorate the shelf and add an interest item. She loves them!!

 Her nickname from Attie Jo

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Loving the Prickels

The last thing I usually want to do is love someone who is hard to get along with and rubs me the wrong way. Prickly people are hard to love. However, loving those whom posses qualities that drive me crazy is one area that I could gain much ground. I would really like to pass on to C&M the ability to love people despite their unlovables.

Matthew 5:43-48
You have heard that it was said, "Love your neighbor and hate your enemy." But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that?  And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?  Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

My Aunt sent this to me and I thought it was a wonderful illustration of the value of bearing with one another.

Fable of the Porcupine

It was the coldest winter ever. Many animals died because of the cold. The porcupines, realizing the situation, decided to group together. This way, they covered and protected themselves; but, the quills of each one wounded their closest companions even though they gave off heat to each other.

After awhile, they decided to distance themselves one from the other and they began to die, alone and frozen. So they had to make a choice: either accept the quills of their companions or disappear from the Earth.

Wisely, they decided to go back to being together. This way they learned to live with the little wounds that were caused by the close relationship with their companion, but the most important part of it, was the heat that came from the others. This way they were able to survive.

Therefore: The best relationship is not the one that brings together perfect people, but the best is when each individual learns to live with the imperfections of others and can admire the other person's good qualities.
The Moral of the story!


1) Everyone is created in God's image. So if we are worthy of love, so is everyone else because of who made them.

2) Because of sin, we're all really unlovable. But Christ changed the rules by offering love, grace and forgiveness (Romans 5:8). If God can love us, surely we can love those around us.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Are You For Real?

There has been much talk about Ben Roethlisberger lately, and his so called changed life. Critics are very skeptical, Steeler loyalist want to believe it's true and fans are still convinced he did nothing wrong. This is not a unique story, you can hear echos as people discuss Miley Cyrus and others who live under the microscope. It does make me sad to watch people who profess Christ who 's faith seems so hypocritical. But, before I pass judgement on these people I must take a hard look at myself. I am sure there are skeptics out there that only knew me as an angry, jealous hearted teenager who thought girls rule and men were pigs. Who bought into the belief that women have the right to choose what they do our don't do with their body, because it really isn't a baby anyway. Believed being the best at everything I did was what brought me worth. I don't know if Ben is really sold out for Jesus His life will tell, but I know that I am and I know it was a hard and scary journey that I hope is not the path Makaylee and Caleb face to really know their Savior. I thank God everyday that in His mercy He loved me enough to shake me and awake me to the truth He is there, He loves me, but the consequence of sin is death.

Like Ben, I have darkness in my past that hit it's pinnacle August 27th 1994. I grew up in a divorced home placing no value on family and the role of a mommy. So when I received the news I was pregnant just a few weeks after my 18th birthday I was mortified. There was only one option and the only thing standing in my way was the 350 dollars I needed. I truly believed it wasn't a baby just a bundle of cells. I believed I had a plan for college and a career, and becoming a mom at 18 was just not part of that plan. So, I scheduled my appointment, had the abortion and that is when the Lord in his amazing grace, rocked my world. After an abortion you are drugged up and tired, so I came home and slept. The phone seemed to be constantly ringing. All day ringing. I didn't want to talk to anyone, but after several hours I decided I was filling a little better, so I would finally answer. There is so much about that day that's fogging, but this phone call changed my life forever and I will never forget it.

Caller, "Jamie?, Are you okay?"
Me, "yes, why?"
Caller, "Did you hear what happened?"
Me, "No, what?"
Caller,"I think your brother was in a car accident and I don't think he survived."

It's rarely something I think about, because it is a pain that still penetrates deep, but it's the most concrete example for me of God's ways are not mine and He loves me so much that He will go to any measure to pull us out of our sin.  For many years I did believe that Travis dying at the exact same time as I chose to kill my baby, was a cruel punishment. While, I don't believe it was a punishment anymore, I know that it wasn't by accident. This emotionally crippling, heart breaking event grabbed my attention and forced me to really ask the question does God really exist and if He does what is He all about? For the first time eternity mattered. It took several years, more humbling and Godly people being the hands and feet of Christ, but I can say with confidence today that I am forgiven for the choice that I made. I still sin, lose my temper, and by God's power will continue to grow in these areas until that day that I am called home. When, I will meet Makaylee and Caleb's sibling and my oldest child and be reunited with my brother. Who through God's divine plan spent the last summer of his life developing his relationship with our loving Savior Jesus.

I hope you will take a minute to watch this video and realize that there are many scared girls out there just like me. Who without a miracle will make the choice that I did, and have to live always wondering about their child.


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