Weary Mom finds good advice

Caleb my sweet boy has challenged me since birth. From 3 weeks old when he starting crying all day long until he was about 3 months old, I was weary. Probably from 3 months until 15 months I was challenged because I had no clue what I was doing, but I really enjoyed his personality. Then we took the pacifier away and it seemed like over night his personality totally changed. He really lost all ability to pull it together after he got upset. For the most part the most difficult time is right after he wakes up and he is just mad at the world, but here recently we have started down a new road of disrespect. He uses tones that are disrespectful toward me and most recently has started disrespecting his friends. ie: tonight he got pulled out of childcare at church for hitting and pushing. I am sad, frustrated and overwhelmed by this parenting thing. I feel like I have great info, and I am applying it, but just when I think we are going to be on an easier road, the bumps increase 10 fold. I love him so much and I think that is way it grieves me to have such a hard time finding joy in parenting him. There are moments that I absolutely love like when he folds his little hands into praying position and says with the sweetest voice, Please mom, Please. It really is hard for me to say no to whatever he is requesting. But I feel like these times are few and far between and I am growing weary. I found this on the Internet tonight and tomorrow we are making a rules board. Praying that we will have some heart change around here. I know the Lord is using this to refine me and for that I am grateful, but man this is hard.

Good Advice

It has now been over a month since we finally visited the Dr. regarding behavior issues .... Dr. scheduled an appointment during his lunch hour so that he could evaluate. He through an unholy fit right there in the Dr. (he was not in the room so I did not think anything was going on, but he was taking note to what triggered him and note to how we went about discipline to him.) He came into the room finally after being in their for about an hour and then told us that when you say what we said about him being extremely stubborn and punishment not working (all the above mentioned previously.) that people you tell don't really know because they have not seen on hand that this is NOT a NORMAL behavior for a 3 three year old. He said that some children are just extremely STRONG WILLED and that is what Dylan is (said you don't know what one is until you have one). On a normal child the discipline we used would work. He gave me an excellent book to read and a behavior punishment and reward program to go by ... thought I would share to help any other parents out their that is in our shoes. Simple make a set of family rules ... post it on a poster board (he said even though he cannot read that it still would help.) along with a paddle, wooden spoon, belt (your choice) ... make him understand that these are our rules and if they are broken then he gets read the rule he broke from the rules board, goes to the timeout room (his bedroom is now just a bed and chest, all toys were moved to a playroom along with his dresser, so that he would not stand on top and jump.) and gets a SPANKING with the wooden spoon hanging above our rules (our choice) Dr. showed us how to spank our child on his own leg ...if interested ... said you spank one hard time right where the crack of the leg and bottom meet), the shut the door (which is now locked from the outside and we put his baby camera back in there to see what he is doing) after he is through with his tantrum then we go in there and give him a hug, tell him that we love him, and that we do not do what ever the rule was that he did wrong and ask him to say sorry if he hurt someone. Now if he is good for a period of time (not all day long - impossible for any three year old) he gets a prize out of the good jar, which is filled with stickers, matchbox cars, and other small toys and candy. ... This seems to be working great, he still has days, but would more less say any three year old does we just had to have an action plan that everyone was on and does the same thing. Don't get me wrong it did not happen over night, like the doctor said the first day will be the hardest could be about 50 times and then the 2nd day less and so on and so on. Now he knows that we mean what we say or he is going to have to pay the consequence for breaking rules. Sometimes we will remind him of a rule if it is not a big deal and ask him to stop or he will have to go to the timeout spot and usually straightens right up. The down fall of all this is we have a daughter who we can just usually threaten and she straightens up.... Dr. said does not matter, everyone has to be on the same discipline plan. If we go off we carry a set of our family rules and if he acts up then everyone else gets to stay and have fun and he will be taken out of the restaurant or where ever with either mommy or daddy and the car seat turns into the time out room until he has straightened up and then he gets to come back inside ... we have only had to do this one time and he did not like the fact that everyone else got to eat dinner inside the restaurant and daddy and him ate dinner in the car. (he did get to come in and eat dessert inside because he did straighten up). Also not sure if I mentioned make sure everyone calls the rule broke the same thing and in simple toddler terms. (No, hitting)

I obey your laws & rules for all my ways are known to you PSALM 119:168.