Loving the Prickels

The last thing I usually want to do is love someone who is hard to get along with and rubs me the wrong way. Prickly people are hard to love. However, loving those whom posses qualities that drive me crazy is one area that I could gain much ground. I would really like to pass on to C&M the ability to love people despite their unlovables.

Matthew 5:43-48
You have heard that it was said, "Love your neighbor and hate your enemy." But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that?  And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?  Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

My Aunt sent this to me and I thought it was a wonderful illustration of the value of bearing with one another.

Fable of the Porcupine

It was the coldest winter ever. Many animals died because of the cold. The porcupines, realizing the situation, decided to group together. This way, they covered and protected themselves; but, the quills of each one wounded their closest companions even though they gave off heat to each other.

After awhile, they decided to distance themselves one from the other and they began to die, alone and frozen. So they had to make a choice: either accept the quills of their companions or disappear from the Earth.

Wisely, they decided to go back to being together. This way they learned to live with the little wounds that were caused by the close relationship with their companion, but the most important part of it, was the heat that came from the others. This way they were able to survive.

Therefore: The best relationship is not the one that brings together perfect people, but the best is when each individual learns to live with the imperfections of others and can admire the other person's good qualities.
The Moral of the story!

LEARN TO LOVE THE PRICKS IN YOUR LIFE.

1) Everyone is created in God's image. So if we are worthy of love, so is everyone else because of who made them.

2) Because of sin, we're all really unlovable. But Christ changed the rules by offering love, grace and forgiveness (Romans 5:8). If God can love us, surely we can love those around us.

Are You For Real?

There has been much talk about Ben Roethlisberger lately, and his so called changed life. Critics are very skeptical, Steeler loyalist want to believe it's true and fans are still convinced he did nothing wrong. This is not a unique story, you can hear echos as people discuss Miley Cyrus and others who live under the microscope. It does make me sad to watch people who profess Christ who 's faith seems so hypocritical. But, before I pass judgement on these people I must take a hard look at myself. I am sure there are skeptics out there that only knew me as an angry, jealous hearted teenager who thought girls rule and men were pigs. Who bought into the belief that women have the right to choose what they do our don't do with their body, because it really isn't a baby anyway. Believed being the best at everything I did was what brought me worth. I don't know if Ben is really sold out for Jesus His life will tell, but I know that I am and I know it was a hard and scary journey that I hope is not the path Makaylee and Caleb face to really know their Savior. I thank God everyday that in His mercy He loved me enough to shake me and awake me to the truth He is there, He loves me, but the consequence of sin is death.

Like Ben, I have darkness in my past that hit it's pinnacle August 27th 1994. I grew up in a divorced home placing no value on family and the role of a mommy. So when I received the news I was pregnant just a few weeks after my 18th birthday I was mortified. There was only one option and the only thing standing in my way was the 350 dollars I needed. I truly believed it wasn't a baby just a bundle of cells. I believed I had a plan for college and a career, and becoming a mom at 18 was just not part of that plan. So, I scheduled my appointment, had the abortion and that is when the Lord in his amazing grace, rocked my world. After an abortion you are drugged up and tired, so I came home and slept. The phone seemed to be constantly ringing. All day ringing. I didn't want to talk to anyone, but after several hours I decided I was filling a little better, so I would finally answer. There is so much about that day that's fogging, but this phone call changed my life forever and I will never forget it.

Caller, "Jamie?, Are you okay?"
Me, "yes, why?"
Caller, "Did you hear what happened?"
Me, "No, what?"
Caller,"I think your brother was in a car accident and I don't think he survived."

It's rarely something I think about, because it is a pain that still penetrates deep, but it's the most concrete example for me of God's ways are not mine and He loves me so much that He will go to any measure to pull us out of our sin.  For many years I did believe that Travis dying at the exact same time as I chose to kill my baby, was a cruel punishment. While, I don't believe it was a punishment anymore, I know that it wasn't by accident. This emotionally crippling, heart breaking event grabbed my attention and forced me to really ask the question does God really exist and if He does what is He all about? For the first time eternity mattered. It took several years, more humbling and Godly people being the hands and feet of Christ, but I can say with confidence today that I am forgiven for the choice that I made. I still sin, lose my temper, and by God's power will continue to grow in these areas until that day that I am called home. When, I will meet Makaylee and Caleb's sibling and my oldest child and be reunited with my brother. Who through God's divine plan spent the last summer of his life developing his relationship with our loving Savior Jesus.

I hope you will take a minute to watch this video and realize that there are many scared girls out there just like me. Who without a miracle will make the choice that I did, and have to live always wondering about their child.


 

Lots to be thankful for

We went to Texas this year and had a fabulous time. I always love this time of the year, because it encourages reflection on things for which we are grateful. When I think about all these incredible things I'm humbled and awed. I come from a broken home and grow up with no knowledge of how to have a strong married, yet I could not ask for a better marriage. Not to say we do not have conflict, but we always work it out. We love each other, and are best friends. I have two amazingly beautiful, full of life, determined little ones, who love their mommy so much. I feeling very loved by my sweet little family.

I also have a tremendous extended family that have been there for my Dad, sister and me. My Dad and my sister are the strongest most courageous people I know. I am so blessed to have shared this life with them.

(caleb took this picture)

I have phenomenal in-laws. We differ in so many ways, yet they have taught me so much about unconditional love. They've helped me to become more affectionate and modeled service unparalleled.  We always have fun being silly together.

We live in a great community, with amazing schools, people, church, and Cory's awesome job is just around the corner. Our quality of life is very refreshing. We never feel rushed and are able to maintain margin. We've developed super friends, in the short time we've lived here. There are hard days, but because of my awesome Savior I am now able to put things in perspective. I never get too low, a stark contrast to my person before Jesus. Life is not perfect, but I often think please don't pinch me because if this is a dream I don't want to wake up.

Bibleman the Superhero and his sidekick Biblegirl

Several months back I bought Caleb a Bibleman DVD, because it was in the $5 pile at a Christian book store. He loved it. It was action packed with sword fights, explosions and domination of villains. I honestly thought it was super cheesy. However, it was packed full of Scripture, so it seemed like a win, win. He has started memorizing Ephesians 6 and can quote ever piece of the armor of God, thanks to the full armor sequence. I loved it. Then we went to the Little Gym and it was Superhero week. When Mr. Justin asked what their favorite Superhero was the others spouted off, Batman, Spiderman, Ironman and the like. Not Caleb. He proudly waited his turn with great anticipation at revealing the greatest Superhero ever known, BIBLEMAN. Sadly, he got blank stares from his peers and a "Who?" from Mr. Justin. I watched as my Little Buddy experienced for the first time the feeling that not going along with the crowd brings. He handled it well in the moment, but for the rest of the day he didn't mention Bibleman or want to talk about his former hero. I was sad. It was a taste of the years ahead. I saw a glimpse of the answer to a question I am sure many mothers ask, "will my child be a leader or follow the pack to fill accepted." I couldn't blame him. A part of me wanted him to say Ironman, because I knew Bibleman would not be well received and I'm definitely not ready to watch his sweet heart break from perceived rejection. Thankfully so far, he matches the Caleb of the Bible he was named after and is a natural born leader. At times his desire to do what he wants can be a battle for mommy, but I love that he rarely does something, just because everyone else is doing it. After, just a couple days of straying from his Superhero he decided all on his own, to be loyal to Bibleman, no matter the cost. He proudly told everyone he came across he was going to be Bibleman for Halloween. I was so proud of how my 4 year old processed this event and I was determined to make his Bibleman costume something he would love. Being that this costume is not in high demand all that was available was the mask and cape. So, we had to make do. We crafted the belt of truth together. I ordered a silver Ironman costume and stuck on yellow duck tape to represent the breastplate of righteousness. He wore his super cool Sketches and shin guards covered in duck tape as his shoes of peace. Skateboard pads covered in yellow duck tape were perfect for the shield of faith. The mask equipped us with the helmet of salvation. Finally we purchased a light up sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God.

Watching him put it on going through the sequence is pretty awesome. I know he has little to no idea what he is talking about, but one day he will. And one day it won't be feeling rejected over a silly little costume. I hope he clings tightly to the truths that will protect him.

About a month later it was Halloween. I had pretty much forgotten about the previously mentioned events. Caleb was so excited to finally be allowed to wear his costume. The costume I originally planned for Sissy to wear was not going to work, so I asked her what she wanted to be. She decided BibleGirl would be great.

After I got her BibleGirl costume, she saw a pink princess she wanted to be, but I made her stick with her first idea.  I don't know how I didn't think of it, but it never dawned on me that I might be sending my kids out to slaughter. Halloween is not a exactly known as a Christian holiday and yet I was sending my babies out covered in crosses going door to door. In a weak moment I thought about trying to convince him to go as Ironman. Yes, I realize I am pathetic. We decided however, to let Caleb know that some people might be offended by his costume and that was okay. We told him to not to worry if anyone said something unkind. And we encouraged him to not return evil for evil. "If someone says they don't like your costume, you tell them you like theirs, we said." The family spent the day at one of the local farms. Thankfully, everyone thought Caleb looked great. One little boy with much enthusiasm told Caleb, "you are so cool." They became buds and played together. I was very thankful the world was kind. We had a great time trick-or treating the neighborhood with our good friends. Caleb, Sissy and Landon had a blast and got tons of yummy goodies.

It has been a month and Caleb asks daily to wear his Bibleman costume. It doesn't even phase him when older boys tell him Halloween is over and he needs to stop wearing his costume. I know there is a fine line between weird and nonconformist, but I'm proud that for now my Little Buddy marches to the beat of his own drum and doesn't just follow the herd.

Paradise Park in Motown

Traveling with a 2 and 4 year old is always associated with a little anxiety for me. Not because I necessarily want it to just be a super pleasant experience for them. I am all about pushing them a little outside of their comfort zone, but more because I want to create an environment that allows me to be successful as their mommy and not communicate anything that might cause lasting scars. I was a sensitive kid and it penetrated deep when I felt like an announce, so I do my best to avoid communicating that to my precious gifts. But, if I am honest sometimes they just annoy the badonkadonk out of me. It's my issue I am easily irritated and I am so thankful that God is using their lives to refine me in this area. I knew 12 hours in the car, 4 hours watching a football game and a couple of sit down meals were sure to result in a few meltdowns, so I wanted to find one activity they would thoroughly enjoy. There is a fun activity park just a couple miles from Chelsea and Jordon's, so I decide we would go.  A kid crazed atmosphere is not necessarily my cup of tea, but denying self is a huge part of this parenting gig. So, after a fun morning hanging with the fam we headed to Paradise Park.

I am not a huge fan of trampolines because they are not the safest apparatus, especially when you put a few rough and tumble boys in the mix. These tramps were great, they each had their own area and were completely enclosed by a safety net. Yes, I sound like a super over protective mother, but with good cause. In 5th grade I got spiked on my head off a tramp and walked around with lopsided shoulders for over a week.

Exhaustion set in, so we moved on to some car racing. 

These little cars were lacking in thrill, so we decided to move on to the Speedway.

IT was a blast. We are slightly competitive in the Ruiz family. Turning everything into a competition makes it much more enjoyable to do the not so fun parts of life. However, if you don't handle losing well it can make for many teaching opportunities. Caleb has shed many a tear over not getting to the top of the stairs the fastest, not being first to clean up his toys or losing our nightly race of who can scrub their teeth the fastest. Thankfully, the Speedway was just fun competition and Caleb and Daddy totally smoked us, so Caleb was all smiles.

 

So Long Type A Momma

After my last post I was feeling pretty down on life. Then I had to give myself a swift quick to the you know what and remember that I'm beyond blessed. I have the life I've always dreamed and yet I am still feeling like I don't measure up. What the heck is my problem? Well, the short is that I am a freakin Type A Nazi that has to have everything perfect to be content. Well, life with a 2 and 4 year old is seldom perfect. That is unless you describe perfect as chaos. So, after seeing my true colors thrown right in my face while stressing through every misplaced glitter and glue blob making what should have been a super fun poster for Caleb's 1st day of preschool, I decided to seriously try to roll more.

My goal is to be content with the chaos and let judging eyes remind me that my job is not to impress onlookers, but to shape my children in the mist of bringing them joy. It pains me, because I'm a crazy over the top joy kill. However, my new life goal is to be fun! What about discipline you might ask? Of one thing I'm certain, I will probably never error on the side of lacking discipline. This coming from the girl who would run at midnight if I haven't completed a scheduled workout. For the sake of the fam I must move away from the extreme and toward balance.

I got my first test tonight in the Lexus Club at the Pirates game.

I have to say not worrying about how your kids are acting makes this parenting thing a lot more enjoyable. Me and the kids had a blast hyped up on Crackerjacks and lemonade dancing, singing and screaming behind homeplate.

I even got a compliment from an older man that flying solo I was doing a great job, and looked like I had it together with my little ones. Amazing, the benefits of releasing control!!

Richly Blessed

Today was not one of my finer days as Mommy. I would love to say it will be remedied when Cory returns from the mountains of Colorado. However, if I'm honest with myself my lack of self control is not unique to today. I was beyond frustrated with their lack of listening. Developing the skill of first time obedience is a never ending battle in the Ruiz home and today I lost the battle, big time. After a fun bubble bath and much disobedience I sent them to bed, and then cried. This mom thing is so beyond my skill set. My natural bent is fast to speak and quick to become angry and with my little ones constant desire to do what they want when they want, today I lost my patience. Then I felt guilty, because what I communicated crushed my sensitive little buddy.  I decided I needed some wise counsel, so I prayed and as usual God delivered. I was reminded by the Tebow's that we are all created for a purpose. I sometimes forget that God uniquely designed my sweet little ones and that it wasn't by mistake that they are both determined. I must foster this amazing quality and not let it frustrate me. I pray this is at the forefront of my mind as I shape and guide my amazing treasures.

Gift of Honor

Letting my family know they are the most important treasure God has given my is the desire of my heart. Yet, at times the broken decor, scattered messes or sibling conflicts get the best of me and I communicate frustration. I remember as a child feeling like an annoyance and a pain in the booty at times. These feelings really hurt.  I thought in Where the Wild Things Are they did an excellent job of illustrating this point. You see an energetic little guy who gets on everyones last nerve, and all he wants is to be someones treasure. I believe children knowing their infinite value to mom is an essential message in building a high sense of self worth in our kiddos.  To set myself up for success and be able to communicate how special they are to me I am eliminating some of the potential for them to make a mess. All the toys are going in the basement in bins. Each day I will take the kids down and let them pick out a few toys to enjoy.  I think this will be a great way to keep their toys new and exciting, alleviate being surrounded with too much and eliminate the mess that sends this mommy into annoyance.

We also just implemented dates with our kiddos to help communicate their value and make them feel honored. On Saturday Cory took Sissy and I took Brother. I let Big Brother pick where ever he wanted to go and of course, he picked the Dinosaur Museum. We had the best time! It was by far my favorite day we have ever had together.

Caleb's Favorite Dinosaurs

Of course, the Tyrannosaurus Rex

Ceratosaurus

going up to viewing area of another of his favorites

Allosaurus

He couldn't wait to go digging for dinos!!

Mommy digging before I got in trouble for too much helping.

I couldn't resist putting this picture in, 

can you guess what this face is about? 

A hint, we had just finished lunch.

The Discovery Room was full of fun.

This boy loves Shamu after our trip in the spring to Seaworld

Right before we went on our date he filled 

his scoop jar and got to pick one of the 

coolest dinosaurs from the gift shop, the Spinosaurus

He actually let me take a couple of pictures, such a handsome sweet guy.