Pursuing the Drama

Why do we do it?
I feel like this question is popping up all around me lately. Whether, it is in the movies I watch, the music I listen to or now in my Bible reading. It seems to be begging me to answer. While I might not have the answers I thought for two reasons I would do some analyzing. First and foremost, I would like to help lead my children to make healthy decisions and second because I love to analyze life.

With Friendships
When I look back over my life I made a number of amazing friends, but I also had some friendships with people that didn’t treat me right. Their behaviors were hurtful and yet for some reason I continued to pursue them. The movie Mean Girls comes to mind. The girl that says such sweet things to your face, but behind your back is plotting to ruin you. I can think of a few people in my life that were like this to me. I think for the most part it is jealousy and insecurities that drives that behavior. Being jealous hearted is such a terrible way to live. Currently, I am working on eradicating any hint of covetousness in me. Jealousy it seems is the driving force behind so much hurt in this world. But my question is why we allow people who have such evil intentions to be in our lives and even call them friend? Is it that we like drama? Or maybe it is that we think they are something special, so we are special if they are our friends. Whatever it is, I sure don’t want Makaylee making friends with the mean girl or heaven forbid being that girl even if it is as subtle as not celebrating in her friend's victories, but rather being jealous of them.

I've been reading the Proverbs and came across this section that was a great caution and encouraging. Ultimately, they will be exposed.

Proverbs 26:24-26 (This is the Message version)
Your enemy shakes hands and greets you like an old friend, all the while conniving against you. When he speaks warmly to you, don't believe him for a minute; he's just waiting for the chance to rip you off. No matter how cunningly he conceals his malice, eventually his evil will be exposed in public.

With Relationships
We have all heard the story of girls being attracted to the bad guy, and what about the saying nice guys finish last. Is this true and why? I recently watched the movie He is Not That Into You. If you haven't seen it I really enjoyed it. Total chic flick, but it really got me thinking. Why do we go after the guy that doesn't want us or treat us right? The theory in the show is for the drama. I can believe that. But here is what I don't understand why do we crave unhealthy drama? Taylor Swift’s song That's the Way I Loved You sums this up perfectly. She has the perfect guy, but wants the dysfunction.

He is sensible and so incredible
And all my single friends are jealous
He says everything I need to hear and it's like
I couldn't ask for anything better
He opens up my door and I get into his car
And he says you look beautiful tonight
And I feel perfectly fine

But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain
And it's 2am and I'm cursing your name
You're so in love that you act insane
And that's the way I loved you
Breakin' down and coming undone
It's a roller coaster kinda rush
And I never knew I could feel that much
And that's the way I loved you

I would love to say that I didn't live that life, but until Cory every relationship I was in had dysfunction stamped all over it. Even with Cory in the beginning of our dating relationship to say the least he didn't cherish me. It wasn't until I communicated I don't need this things drastically changed. An indicator that we actually choose how people treat us. One other thing the movie mentioned that I thought was very interesting was girls are taught from a young age that boys who are mean really have a crush on them. I definitely remember having boys tease me and hearing he likes you and that is why he is teasing you. In many cases I am sure this is true, but isn't this communicating a confusing message to our children. I will make a strong effort when anyone mistreats my child to call a spade a spade and help my kiddos understand that being treated this way is not acceptable. They should never allow anyone to mistreat them.

I do have one theory on why we crave the drama, so here it is. When we are not totally satisfied with ourselves we find it hard to believe anyone else could be either, so when someone actually treats us amazingly well we call it boring. That person couldn't be too great or they wouldn't want us. We are attracted to those that treat us wrong, thinking subconsciously I am sure, if they care for me I am really special. We all want to be special. I am just thankful I've learned I am significant, because Christ loved me enough to die for me.