Failure

I've been in another one of my funks lately. I feel like this is such a reoccurring theme in my life and I hate it. I have a wonderful husband, beautiful kiddos and security. I love the Lord and should be content, right? So what the heck is my problem? I've been praying for some clarity on this and here is some of the answer. I am such a perfectionist and extremely results driven. This mom thing is sooooo hard for my personality. There isn't a day that goes by that through my eyes I don't feel like a big fat failure. From a head knowledge stand point I know this isn't true. I work hard around the house, love and serve my kids to no end and try really hard to make my husband feel loved. I have some talent on the creative side of things and I am not dumb. I could list more, but you get the idea. Yet, I still have a huge feeling of disappointment with how I am doing. It makes sense if you think about it. I am results driven. How often do you get desired results from a one or three year old? I think I have good kids, but they do the exact opposite of what I ask of them multiple times each day. I try to love and serve Cory, but we are wired so different that I honestly can't do it all the time, and for sure not with a happy heart. One top of all this, my little projects lately have not been resulting they way I'd hoped. I'm heavy hearted and really feeling a huge burden that makes me want to get in my car and flee. Another response that I absolutely hate. I would never do it, but I hate that I have these thoughts. So where is the silver lining? I guess what I am clinging to is that this is a part of the refining process. I might have the knowledge that no matter how hard I try I can't be perfect; however, this knowledge doesn't not stop me from the feelings of failure. I know God wants me to realize my worth doesn't come from my abilities, but through Him. He thought I was worth so much that He sent His son for me. I must preach this to myself daily, otherwise, I do get bogged down in the less than ideal. I'm reminded that God's strength is made perfect in my weakness. Thankful for perspective.