The Big Move

Well our trip could not have been any better. Caleb and Makaylee were prefect travel partners. They did great everyday. We broke it up into 3 days of driving.

Day 1
The first day with stops took 12 hours. We arrived in Birmingham, AL where we stayed with Cory's cousins for 2 days. We had so much fun. They are very fun and loving. We are blessed to have them as family. Makaylee was totally into Josh Tammy and Alexandra Josh, Phillip and Tammy GG loving on Makaylee Aunt Linda Having fun pool side with Alexandra , Josh, Daniel and Darin

They are jokesters and Renee getting scared to death was the topper of our visit.


Day 2 We drove 8 hours to Bristol, VA. This leg of the trip was beautiful and I was able to catch up on my scrap booking, which made the trip go really quickly. It also helped curtail my usual backseat driving problem. Cory was extremely grateful for this.

Day 3 Caleb giving a little attitude to Grandma for taking his picture. We traveled 7 more hours and arrived at home in Upper Saint Clair. This was probably the roughest day for the kids, but they only got fussy when we were about 20 minutes from our final destination. Grandma and Papa were so helpful and we all were thankful they came along.

Day 4
Our stuff arrived and the movers with our direction spent the whole day unloading our 12,000 lbs of stuff. We decided we are not buying anything else until we get settled permanently. Moving is a beating.

Day 5 This day started out rough. I was feeling overwhelmed with the chaos, missing Zoie and all my friends, but we got the kids rooms unpacked and the kitchen, so the day finished up much better than it started. I also resolved that even though our situation is temporary we are amazingly blessed with such a loving family and I need to focus on that not the house I live in.

Day 6 We unpacked more and took a beautiful drive to Ohiopyle.

Day 7 We took Grandma and Papa to the airport. We miss them so much and are thankful we have the best grandparents anyone could ask for.

Day 8
We went to church and came home to a bit of a flood in our house. Caleb left the sink running and that particular sink the drain is stopped up, so needless to say water was coming through the light fixture all over the kitchen floor. We are adjusting pretty well. Caleb keeps saying he wants to go home. We quickly reply we are home and he responds, "I don't like this house." Hopefully this is just temporary. He said he wanted to go and see Jackmame. I told him Jack is not here and he corrected me and said, "yes, I go to church and see him at church."

Beautiful Weekend

We had an amazing and busy weekend. Weddings and birthdays galore.

My sweet friend Alyssa got married and I am so excited about the man she married. They are going to have a wonderful marriage. The wedding was beautiful and we had so much fun. The kiddos loved the dancing, cake, blowers and poppers.


The Bridal Luncheon


Before we headed to the church for wardrobe change

Caleb

Happy Birthday my Big Boy. Our first 2 days of 3 were glorious. He was a sweetheart all weekend long and he handed out kisses generously. I've noticed he is very happy when we are all together as a family and he doesn't like me to go anywhere without him. After I've returned from being gone for any length of time he'll say, "I can't find you anywhere." He has started enjoying when I tickle his back, wants me to sit next to him in the car and held my hand the whole ride home this evening. I am loving this!!!!
I've noticed a huge shift in his affection for Daddy. He loves playing ball and Cory is always willing to pitch hundreds of balls to him. He also hit a 100 golf balls at the driving range today and probably would have hit a 100 more if we would have let him. Last time we went he got blisters and we wanted to avoid these. His hand-eye coordination is amazing. He loves to turn anything into a bat. Tonight he and Cory played ball with a small comb as the bat and a small Nemo ball and he actually connected.
Cory and I are really trying to work on using affirming words. This doesn't come natural for either of us. It lights up Caleb's world more than anything. We both observed we think this might be his primary love language. God is always faithful to grow and sharpen us.
He was extremely kind to Makaylee today, kissing her, sharing and he was extremely self-controlled when she would take his toys. Today was so rewarding as a mommy.
I am (not Cory) not using the spanking method for the next 3 months in an effort to hyper focus on trying to use a more positive approach to teaching him the ways he should go. If the last 2 days are any indication of the effectiveness of this method I'm very encourage. We are going to try and remove privileges and make the consequences more natural. One a side note Cory gave Caleb a choice last night in his consequence for throwing food on the floor. He could either not take a bubble bath or get a spanking and he picked the spanking. Hmmm, not sure what he was thinking, but the boy really likes bath time.
Doing much better on swallowing his spit. I talked to a speech therapist and he probably has either weak jaw muscles or tongue, so we have some exercise, but just giving him positive reinforcement has helped.
After the driving range Caleb wanted to go to the bounce house and so we decided it would be fun to go as a family. It was so fun watching him smile from ear to ear as he conquered each of the rides. He loved when we would give him the good job buddy or thumbs up as he climbed the obstacle course wall.



We are reading a book right now called Wild Things the Art of Nurturing Boys by Stephen James and David Thomas. I can't put it down. I am learning so much about how God uniquely wire these little guys and as a women I am just clueless. Cory and I have really been praying for wisdom in this parenting thing and God is so faithful to lead us to wise counsel.


Makaylee

She took her first step May 16th, which of course I missed. She didn't even realize she did it so we haven't been able to get her to duplicate, but it won't be long.
She is enjoying playing rough with her brother. Today he slid into her and knocked her down and they both giggled hysterically. That was until Cory put Caleb in timeout for not thinking about his sister's safety. The next time he went down the slide and sister was waiting at the bottom he asked us to please move her. Progress!!
She loves when Caleb plays horsey and lets her ride around the living room on his back.
She has started letting us know what she does and doesn't like to eat and let me tell you this girl loves fruit.
Likes to be on the go a lot more, but will communicate with hands in the air hold me.
She might be lacking patience and doesn't understand that just because she wants something doesn't mean she gets it no matter how loud she screams.
She can climb like nobodies business and loves it.
Giggles when we tell her no, stops what she is doing to be sure we are watching and then proceeds with a big smile in her mischief. We are going to really have a hard time with not laughing at her sin.
She is so affectionate and warms our hearts daily.

We have two amazing children and I know there are days that we struggle, but they are the world to me.

Humbled

We have been doing pretty well lately with the implementation of the board and applying God's word to discipline, but we did have a few minor set backs this week that really had me questioning, "have I totally screwed this kid up?" If you seek counsel from people on this I have learned they are always willing to give feed back and I have heard from most everyone I am too hard on him. I really took it to heart when my dad said we started discipline too young and that is why he is so emotional. This coming from the man that said jump and we asked how high as children. My performance driven self wanted to say no. I am doing everything they say and I am not getting the results promised, but one thing I am humbly learning right now is no matter how hard you try and how much effort you put in there are no guarantees in this parenting deal.



This tantrum left me so deflated. The major conciliation was after 30 minutes of ignoring. I finally pulled over told him this was not acceptable behavior. He needed to ask mommy please and remain calm. We read Proverbs 17:27 together and then as if a terrible demon left his body he was all smiles and a joy for the rest of the evening. Today we had 2 events that brought me to my knees. (On a side note this is where I should have been all along.) He got into it with one of his frienemies, an ingenious noun I recently heard, and decide to unleash with a bat. It shocked me he could exert that much hostility and scared me, begging the question, where did I go wrong? After nap time he hit is sister twice once with his Lightning McQueen plate and later a book. This absolutely killed me. While it might be understandable to have frustration towards some, Makaylee loves Caleb and thinks he is the greatest thing since sliced bread. She wants to do everything he does and smiles and laughs at her big brother at every chance she gets. I know they are siblings and there is the jealousy factor and do I give him enough time and attention. I have contemplated that, tried to do everything possible to let him know how much I treasure him, but still he has it out for his little sister. I was so sad, upset and heartbroke today over his recent extremely hostile behavior towards her that I found myself wanting to discipline this out of him. So confused and mind boggled that I have somehow made him into a child that lacks compassion and love made me finally turn to the Lord and beg for help. As said earlier I should have been doing this all along. It seems simple, but so often I find myself only turning to God with my parenting when I'm in complete desperation. Hopefully writing this down I will remember to daily surrender and not wait until hopelessness. God in his faithfulness lead me to Psalms 44 these verses really stood out.

6 I do not trust in my bow,
my sword does not bring me victory;

7 but You give us victory over our enemies,
You put our adversaries to shame.

8 In God we make our boast all day long,
and we will praise your name forever.
Selah

9 But now you have rejected and humbled us;
you no longer go out with our armies.

I think I was trying to do good on my own and God faithfully is humbling me through my child. I love the saying the pride before the fall. I should remember that He is my portion and my help. I for the first time today, thanks to my sister asking me the question, "do you think he is trying to dominate people because you are dominating him?" This was hard to hear, but I realized how much I am trying to control this situation by doing all the right things and still getting questionable results instead of humbly trusting it to the Lord. My prayer is that I wake up tomorrow different. When Caleb does something that my flesh wants to control I pray I drop on my knees and ask God for the wisdom of how to handle the situation.

Blessed be His name

If you are reading this you probably know last week I was extremely discouraged with my role as mommy. But I can honestly say that is week has been the best week I've ever had in my role as mommy and I'm so incredible grateful. One would pose the question why. I am not 100% sure of the answer to that, but here are some of the factors that I believe contributed.

1. I took the TV away from Caleb last Wed and I am not reinstating it until tomorrow. I really think this helped.

a. I didn't use it as a tool to help me get stuff done, but totally engage all day. This may seem extremely challenging, but if it contributed to how amazing my time with Caleb has been this week. I am ready to trash the TV.
b. He wasn't influence by any possible countering messages.

2. Because I took the TV & Movies away and he asked for it frequently I was able to remind him probably 7 times a day (whenever he asked to watch) why the privileged was taken away.

3. I really think the implementation of the teaching board was priceless. It helped me get my heart right before disciplining and it helped Caleb have a visual for what was expected of him. We didn't want to call it a rules board, because we want it to be an attitude of the heart. So here is what is on it currently...

Ruiz Family Way

1. Right Away all the Way
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother as God commands so it may be well with you and you will live long on earth. Ephesians 6:1-3

Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Colossians 3:20

2. No Hitting or Pushing
Jesus follower must not be mean but kind to all. 2 Timothy 2:24
The fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Galatians 5:22-23

3. Manners Matter (Please, thank you, no disrespecting tones and Excuse me)
Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. Matthew 12:34

4. Have a joyful heart
A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22

5. Remain Calm
The one who knows much says little; an understanding person remains calm. Proverbs 17:27

He who is slow to anger has great understanding,But he who is quick-tempered exalts folly Proverbs 14:29

I just want to say thank you Lord for helping me when I was feeling very low and restoring me. Amen.

Makaylee is 1

We took Makaylee in for her one year check-up and so I thought I would post some of the things she is doing right now so I have a memory of it.

Wt. 18lbs 13oz 10-25%
Ht. 28 1/2 inches 25-50%
Head 44 cm 25%

She took her painful shots amazingly well. She is such a tough girl. The only time she cries hard from pain is when she bumps her head.


She just started standing up no support for about 5 seconds on Friday. I felt bad though once she bent forward and whacked her head on a bottle. Now she has a nice little bruise on her forehead.


She is starting to get a little attitude when she wants something and is not getting it. This is usually either food related or when Brother takes something.

Starting to give a little push back to Caleb. She definitely can hold her own. I am starting to see the joys of sibling conflict.






She is really loving her Daddy after great bonding time this past weekend. She actually wanted to be comforted by him instead of me.

She is a cuddle bug. I love when she pats me on the back when I am holding her.

Started giving real kisses. Open mouth but I love them.

Still sleeping a ton. Usually 12-14 hours at night and at least one 3 hour nap.

I think she started having bad dreams. She woke up a couple times screaming like she was terrified. This is so sad to me. I think it is all the dinosaur movies Brother is watching.

Words she can say
For sure dog and daddy. There are some other words, but I am not able to make these out yet. She hates to sign.

Table manners are starting to be an issue. She loves most any food, but has a few things that she would rather throw on the floor.

Loves the sippy cup.

Still loves people and flirts with anyone who will give her eye contact.

She crys when I first drop her off at the nursery at church. But they always say she was wonderful.

Overall, I think she is one of the happiest people I've ever known. I am so blessed to have this bright light as a daughter. Her belly laugh lights my world.