Learning to Enjoy

It seems so simple, but it was a light bulb moment for me as I listened to one of the Build Block speakers last night. The talk was regarding finding joy in your children. A topic that if I am honest has been a struggle at times in this toddler stage. Playing playdoh, breaking up sibling conflict or trying to get my children to eat one bit of something that will actually nourish their bodies is a part of each day. Often, I dread the prospect of living a repeat of the previous day. Needless to say this topic definitely grabbed my interest. She stated it as if it was "dah" everyone knows this, but it really caused me to reflect on whether or not I actually do the very thing she cautioned against. She said if you google enjoying your children what came up most often was getting them to do what you want them to do. Better said, manipulating your children into doing what you want them to do, so you can enjoy them. As I reflected on this I realized I do this much more often than my pride wants to admit. Sadly, but gratefully I was made aware how often I wish their little lives away waiting for them to change, so I can enjoy them more.

How do I overcome this? I don't have all the answers that is for sure, but her encouragement to look at myself when I'm in this battle was helpful. For example, it might be my high need to control fueling my frustration. I think most importantly I was reminded that God loves me too much to allow me to stay in my selfishness. Quite possibly He is using my dear ones to expose these weaknesses and grow me, so I can be more useful for Him. Most definitely, I see my people pleasing diminishing through my ever being humbled in public with two extremely hyper kiddos. She advised in times of feeling frazzled to go before the Lord and ask what He is doing? If nothing else this puts my heart in the right place.

All that being said, I would like to declare I am so grateful for the gift of two drastically different people that I have the privilege of raising. I have some thoughts on this topic, but I will save them for another day.