And baby makes three

No he is not ours, we just got the pleasure of hanging out with him for the day. After a day like this I would say having three would be totally manageable. However, that is given the baby is as perfectly behaved as baby Hayden. The little guy was sick and still content and enjoyable the entire time. He also rocked a two hour nap with no effort to get him into la la land. As you can image this increased my desire for a baby brother all the more. Then my first born kindly brought me back to the reality that this mommy thing is totally humbling me and causing me to fall to me knees in prayer. Each day I ask for the wisdom to raise these little ones. Thoughts frequent my mind that they will have to seek therapy to repair all the damage I have done. That may seem dramatic, but seriously I feel this way.
As I talked about in a previous post things have been rough since our trip to Texas and the moments of joy that come with parenting were growing few and far between. But I am so encouraged, now. I was really feeling like I might have a little buddy that was boarding on bi-polar. No I am not joking. One moment he would look at us and tell us how much he loved us, how wonderful we are and the next be kicking and screaming like an insane person. Cory and I have heard from a number of people over the years how hard we are on Caleb. It wasn't that I didn't want to hear that, I just didn't like the idea of the alternative. I look around at a society that is driven by instant gratification and no self-discipline and with these qualities the depression and strife. Both Cory and I are disciplined and driven and at times we are joy kills, but our drive is really a part of both of us that I admire. We both would attribute this to our Dad's expecting a lot from us. As children it was hard, but we are both very thankful for the people we are today.  But there is always the other side of the coin when you are dealing with people's personalities and I really feel like Caleb is wound up tighter than a drum. I attribute that 100% to me not understanding who he is and parenting him appropriately. In my ignorance I missed that our little guy was feeling so beat down that he was a canon waiting to go off. We have always asked him to walk a very tight rope and it has been way too much for anyone to handle. I think the standers have reached beyond high to impossible. I am not down on myself, because this parenting thing is hard. I'm just extremely grateful for awareness and that Cory and I are on the same page. We have had two days of extreme contrast from the last 3 weeks. Yes, tantrums and naughtiness have still taken place, but allowing him sometime to defuse and reach calmness have been huge. I see joy in his eyes and know that it will be bumpy but we are on a road that I can't wait to go down. A stark contrast to the previous road of fear being the driving factor.