And baby makes three

No he is not ours, we just got the pleasure of hanging out with him for the day. After a day like this I would say having three would be totally manageable. However, that is given the baby is as perfectly behaved as baby Hayden. The little guy was sick and still content and enjoyable the entire time. He also rocked a two hour nap with no effort to get him into la la land. As you can image this increased my desire for a baby brother all the more. Then my first born kindly brought me back to the reality that this mommy thing is totally humbling me and causing me to fall to me knees in prayer. Each day I ask for the wisdom to raise these little ones. Thoughts frequent my mind that they will have to seek therapy to repair all the damage I have done. That may seem dramatic, but seriously I feel this way.
As I talked about in a previous post things have been rough since our trip to Texas and the moments of joy that come with parenting were growing few and far between. But I am so encouraged, now. I was really feeling like I might have a little buddy that was boarding on bi-polar. No I am not joking. One moment he would look at us and tell us how much he loved us, how wonderful we are and the next be kicking and screaming like an insane person. Cory and I have heard from a number of people over the years how hard we are on Caleb. It wasn't that I didn't want to hear that, I just didn't like the idea of the alternative. I look around at a society that is driven by instant gratification and no self-discipline and with these qualities the depression and strife. Both Cory and I are disciplined and driven and at times we are joy kills, but our drive is really a part of both of us that I admire. We both would attribute this to our Dad's expecting a lot from us. As children it was hard, but we are both very thankful for the people we are today.  But there is always the other side of the coin when you are dealing with people's personalities and I really feel like Caleb is wound up tighter than a drum. I attribute that 100% to me not understanding who he is and parenting him appropriately. In my ignorance I missed that our little guy was feeling so beat down that he was a canon waiting to go off. We have always asked him to walk a very tight rope and it has been way too much for anyone to handle. I think the standers have reached beyond high to impossible. I am not down on myself, because this parenting thing is hard. I'm just extremely grateful for awareness and that Cory and I are on the same page. We have had two days of extreme contrast from the last 3 weeks. Yes, tantrums and naughtiness have still taken place, but allowing him sometime to defuse and reach calmness have been huge. I see joy in his eyes and know that it will be bumpy but we are on a road that I can't wait to go down. A stark contrast to the previous road of fear being the driving factor.

Two years with my beautiful baby girl

I think it is official that I no longer can call Makaylee a baby. However, she loves playing with babies.

She turned two on Saturday. Weighs 23lbs and is 34 inches tall. Apprently, she is tall and skinny. Every girls dream. I am still in shock. I remember thinking when I just had Caleb that moms who didn't want there little ones to grow up so fast were crazy. I really couldn't relate. Now it feels like a blink and I have a little guy wearing pants that look huge and my sweetie is truly asserting her independence multiple times a day. Her birthday was pretty low key. We haven't really developed a group of friends that I felt like I could ask to humor me as we celebrated her birthday, so we decided to just hang out with the four of us.

Blowing out her first birthday candle with a little help from Brother

First, we went to our favorite place for breakfast. Mainly because the power was out at our house, but I wasn't arguing.

The reason our power was out

Then we went to this awesome place in the mall. I really think we picked the perfect location to celebrate Makaylee's birthday. The kids loved Giggles and Smiles and could not get enough.

We decided after this fun filled event we would have some down time and then headed to church. There we ran into our sweet friends. We had planned to go out to dinner as a family for one final celebration, but to my joy our friends agreed to come along. It was such a special treat. It would have been fun with just the four of us; however, it was heart warming being surrounded with people that have made adjusting to our new lives much easier. I felt like it was God confirming that He lead us here and is guiding and providing. The staff at Max and Erma's added to the fun with a special birthday song.

Makaylee blowing out candle number 2

It is funny how I let a day that was such a cause to celebrate bring out my insecurities. It really felt like such a reminder of the longing I have for those friends that feel like family. In my insecurity I couldn't even see that we have those people here I just need to be willing to put myself out there and ask them to engage with us. In my insecurity I thought they would rather not be asked, so silly. I sure don't want to pass this on to my little ones. I frequently pray that Makaylee will not have many of the insecurities that I battled as a teenager and still at times rear their ugly head. If you have a teenager and want to know a little about some of the struggles they are battling today this blog my aunt's doing will give you some great insight. Emmie's Hope
I recently started reading Beth Moore's new book So Long Insecurity. I haven't gotten too far into it yet, but I'm learning that far more people than we might think struggle in this area. One thing she addresses is even attractive people can be insecure. It made me think of those people out there that might seem intimidating that you might think don't need a friend. I've definitely learned it is better to reach out and deal with rejection then to miss an opportunity to make someone feel special. I don't know that I would have such an appreciation for this if I wasn't in this season of adjustment. I am thankful for this knowledge. Praying for the strength to do something with it and not let my fear of rejection be a hindrance.

Day at the Fair

I am totally out of order with my posts right now, but that is what happens when you take 9 days off.

A couple of weekends ago we went to the not so huge Westmoreland Fair. We had so much fun hanging out as a family and spending time with our new friends, the Frohlings. Makaylee and Caleb light up whenever they see Chip and Lucia, so an outing with them is always desirable.

We saw all the animals

Danced



played games

and then enjoyed the rides

I was so proud of my little man. He road the bull.

I thought sure it would be another 30 minute wait with no reward at the end, but he did it. He cowboyed-up and got on. Of course, he only stayed on long enough to figure out how to get off without injury, but HE DID IT!!