Day of Pictures Wyoming (Day 7)

Warped

I would love to say that over the past week God did a mighty work in my heart and that is why I am feeling so much better at this mom thing. However, if I am honest it's pretty much because Caleb's behavior has improved drastically.

Reflecting over the past 3 months we were doing amazingly well. One of my biggest concerns about moving was how Caleb would adjust to such a major life change. Change is usually not his strong suit, but he hadn't seemed even a little phased. He talks about his friends, but always in relation to fun. I was feeling on top of the world. Actually, strongly considering taking on nine months of on and off torture to have one more amazing blessing and that is about the time my world was rocked.

We headed out to Wyoming to visit my family, which is always extremely exciting. Excitement however, is coupled with a little anxiety. Anxiety stemming from the uncertainty of how the kiddos will get along for 9 days. After the first few days the kids were doing amazing sharing, enjoying and playing together.

Then we had a few days of sleep deprivation for Caleb and myself and it seemed as though the wheels fell off. I blew it big time with him. We were having a particularly disobedient morning. He was bored and needed to run and I was tired and not up for the energy of a hyper 3 year old. He got into it with his cousin over a toy, didn't listen to his aunt and then disregarded me. Anger got the best of me and I totally lost my temper. I scared my little buddy and my sweet niece. I felt so bad I wanted to crawl in a hole or at least seek refuge to a safe place. I needed Cory to come to my rescue, but he was 1600 miles away. I felt like a sinking ship. The next few days Caleb's behavior was pretty much the same. Thankfully, I was no longer angry just hopeless. I think that was even harder. Questioning what I am I doing wrong? We got home and I thought things would get better, oh no. He actually started giving heck to Cory, as well. Nap time and bedtime were a beating and he actually was starting to become physical aggressive. I really felt like I was watching an episode of Super Nanny played out in my own home. All I could think was I must be an idiot mom. Clueless to what I am doing to contribute to this behavior. Caleb has definitely challenged me in the past, but we really turned a corner at the 3 year mark and so this backslide was so discouraging. I even had moments where I wanted to live out the scene in YaYa Sisterhood where she just leaves for a stretch, because she is totally overwhelmed and depressed. I felt so guilty about this. How could I be so ungrateful for this amazing life I've been given. Basically, I was at my breaking point and then like the flip of a switch Caleb is back to his mostly happy, compliant self. Yes, bedtime and nap time are still a beating, but his demeanor is different. He is sweet again and not taking every opportunity he can to be mean to sissy or me. I really don't know what changed. All I can guess is God knew this was all I could handle.

I learned a lot over these past 3 weeks. First, that when things get hard I still default to my unhealthy behavior of wanting to run. I am thankful for God's timely message of LOYALTY.

I also see that I'm still so performance driven. While, I think it is so important to strive to do the best we possible can in every endeavor. I also know the pain and heartache that comes from getting my significance from how I measure up. Being a mom is the greatest challenge I've faced. I really think I down played the importance of a mom, being raised by my dad most of my life. Now that I am in this role I realize I have the potential to influence and impact these little ones in such a drastic way. Frankly, that scares the the badonka-donk out of me. When Caleb and even Makaylee start to overwhelm me, I feel so deflated. It really is hard to pick myself up seek forgiveness, forgive myself and know that I can't be perfect. The destruction of being so performance driven. I think God is using my kiddos to drive this characteristic right out of me. I am thankful for that, but it brings me to my knees to know I might screw my kids up in the process. I know part of this is God teaching me total dependence, and that in itself is so hard for me at times to walk in. I grew up thinking you have to depend only on yourself everyone else will fail you. I know God is faithful even to death, but my warped mind has such a hard time grasping this in the mist of my short comings. My hearts desire is for my children to arise and call me blessed. That they are thankful for their mom one day.

For now I am still far from being content in this parenting thing despite my circumstance. However, thankful that today my circumstance is a pleasant and happy little guy and a Mommy who wants to grow and become who God desires me to be.

Caleb's Favorite YouTube Video Right Now

Would this be considered inappropriate entertainment for a 3 year old?

The Good Mom/Bad Mom ladies would probably qualify me in the latter category.

She Makes Me Smile

Yummy I love my mouth full of Craisins.

Makaylee has become quite the social butterfly lately. Everywhere we go she says "hi" and waves to perfect strangers. Tonight we had a girls date night at Starbucks and enjoyed a Double Chocolaty Peppermint Frap. It was yummy!! We sat outside and every car that pulled up got an emphatic wave and her precious grin. It warmed my heart to watch her bring smiles to the faces of others.

Then when we got home she must have known mommy had an exhausting day full of small frustrations, and decided to remedy my bad attitude. She made up a sweet little hug me game.

First, she would give me a huge bear hug with my favorite pat. Next, she would turn to leave and finally, she would whip around with this huge light your world smile accompanied by a energetic little giggle and embrace me with all her strength. This event occurred at least 15 times and never once got old. Needless to say, I got over my bad attitude.

In her new big girl pig tails. All her hair reaches the rubber band.

Bright eyes in Daddy's big hat.

Observe Warning Signs!!

How to Take a Stroller on an Escalator

When you're pushing a stroller around the mall, an escalator can seem like a lifesaver if there isn't a convenient elevator nearby. Follow safety strategies when riding the moving staircase, however, to protect you and your toddlers from accidents and injury. Skip down to the second set of steps if you've got this skill mastered.

Instructions
Step 1
Remove your baby or toddler from the stroller and let a friend or family member hold her while going up or down the escalator.

Step 2
Fold the stroller up completely, ensuring that no stroller toys, packages, accessories or your purse handles are sticking out the sides where they can easily become tangled in the escalator grate.

Step 3
Step onto the escalator and sit the stroller wheels on the step beside you or in front of you if the escalator is narrow. Balancing it on the step behind you will keep you from facing forward as you ride the escalator, which will divert your attention when it comes time to step off.

Step 4
Leave several steps between you and the riders in front of you and advise riders behind you to do the same. The extra steps will give you enough time to maneuver the stroller off the escalator without worrying about causing a dangerous backup.

Step 5
Check your clothing before you get onto the escalator to ensure you don't have any dangling garments or accessories (like a long sweater, scarf, anklet or pant hem) that can snag on the escalator grate while you're preoccupied with the stroller.

Step 6

Walk the extra steps to reach the elevator or resign yourself to staying on the same floor if the elevator is out of service when you're alone with your baby and stroller. You can also find a mall or building security guard (rather than relying on strangers) to help you hold the stroller while you carry your baby on the escalator.

Or you can do what I did

Step 1
Throw Common Sense out the window.

Step 2
Mindlessly jump on the elevator with a hand full of pretzels

Step 3
Keep one year old in stroller

Step 4
Fail to hold three year old's hand.

Result

My 3 year old steps half committed onto the escalator with me and then quickly realises he is not holding my hand. He panics, freezes and one foot continues up the escalator, while the other is firmly planted on sold ground. At this point I feel totally helpless as I am heading up the escalator holding the stroller with Makaylee riding inside. What do I do? If I let go of the stroller I send Makaylee tumbling, all the while I am watching my little guy get pounded by each new step. All I could do is scream, "PLEASE STAND UP BUDDY." He is so panicked at this point yelling, "you didn't hold my hand." I was almost to the top where I could push Makaylee to safety and run down and rescue him. When a sweet and very calm lady, who probably wanted to yell you idiot mom, saved him.

I would love to say this extremely bone headed move was an isolated incident, but I feel like I've been having frequent laps in judgement, lately.

Yesterday, my mommy brain resulted in Caleb handing me a present that resembled a stretched and mashed tootsie roll and insisting, "sissy did it, not me." I guess I should have put a diaper on her before getting myself ready. Do they have a term for Mommies who are losing their minds.

The kids have been a little off on their schedule and I've been staying up way to late playing on the computer, so sleep deprivation is contributing. I'm just thankful the escalator incident was the worst consequence, thus far and we are all okay. Just a little emotionally traumatised.

Day at the Fair

I am totally out of order with my posts right now, but that is what happens when you take 9 days off.

A couple of weekends ago we went to the not so huge Westmoreland Fair. We had so much fun hanging out as a family and spending time with our new friends, the Frohlings. Makaylee and Caleb light up whenever they see Chip and Lucia, so an outing with them is always desirable.

We saw all the animals

Danced



played games

and then enjoyed the rides

I was so proud of my little man. He road the bull.

I thought sure it would be another 30 minute wait with no reward at the end, but he did it. He cowboyed-up and got on. Of course, he only stayed on long enough to figure out how to get off without injury, but HE DID IT!!

Camping in Wyoming (Day 6)

There is a wild animal refuge just a few miles up the road from the campsite were we stayed. We planned to spend Sunday looking at lions, tigers and bears oh my, but sadly it was closed. The kids were so disappointed, so we searched high and low for an alternative and decided to take them first, to

StoryBook Island.

It really was an impressive place and completely FREE. The park is filled with sets that portray characters form various children’s stories, fables and nursery rhymes. And all the figurines were great fun for the kids to climb on.

Good job Rapid City, SD!!

Finally, we ended the day at Bear Country USA.


Caleb was so exhausted he fell asleep in the car ride out there, but thankfully woke up in time to see the amazing Artic wolves


bears

Makaylee enjoyed watching the baby bears, playing with Uncle Toby


and all the small animals.




I Enjoyed some Photo Opps



We headed back to Gillette around 2:00, but Dad and I were determined to get a good cup of coffee and apparently most people are not customers at that time of the day so the shops were closed. Finally, after 7 stops we gave up and stopped at a convenience store Loaf 'N Jug. Their chai latte was easily as good as Starbucks. I guess the extra hour and a half of driving was worth it!!